Are personal computers to be very personal? (Humor)
Are personal computers to be very personal? De shopndrop.com
Has the PC replaced the dog as man's best friend?
The rapid development of successive generations of chips for high-speed computers has brought a bounty of personal services and business support ranging from efficient multimedia interactive games instant online banking and trade in the rapid access to data CD. But this blessing of high technology has come a damn high price – and a humanization of an attachment to a machine to then unprecedented in the annals of human history. If the computer has yet to replace the dog as man's best friend, it's just because nobody has found a way get to lick the face.
Probably the most influential factor in the humanization of the PC is its ability to connect to the Internet. The idea that can "comply" people to talk "while alone in a room, sociability catapult to a new level – many secular social mores fall by the wayside.
Ido are the days when you had to dress to impress. In the network, you can dress down, slouch in your seat and have a hair-day becoming a divine aspect bush thorn in comparison, but as long as you know your gigabytes of Zip disks, you're a mega success.
"Quick Fingers" no longer connotes get a cool dude with his date. On the World Wide Web, "nimble fingers" is the greatest compliment you can pay a guy. A compliment for a woman would be: "The thinking, reminds me of my motherboard. "
One drawback of the online social arena, however, is that you can chat with someone for hours and even know which gender they are. A kind of throwback to the early hippies.
Although, "My car broke down" and not cut as an excuse for being late, high-tech counterpart, "My modem broke down," is even better. Due to a malfunction of the modem "," not only may be too late a meeting or a lecture, but also "go" (disconnect) early. What's more, you can even leave in the middle of a boring babbling – which is the equivalent of throwing a boring car passengers are moving in the middle of the road. While in a car, this may be considered rude behavior on the network, could be seen as a social improvement or "cultural renovation."
To the delight of many (cheaper) guys, "date" on the World Wide Web does not cost more than a local phone call. Unless, of course, you want the company of a real human being and decide to actually know the person who has been talking. But that kind of defeats of the great achievements of modern technology.
Moreover, with its field office in the network that literally spans the entire globe, can now to deal with problems that until now unencountered. It used to be pretty bad knowing someone who was "wrong" for you. Now you have to deal with knowing someone who is "right" for you, but in the "wrong" side of the world. How to deal with this? Do you travel halfway around the world only to meet someone?
And what if you fly to Sydney, Australia, is a date and you do not like the person? You say, "I have a headache, I will return to the airport to rest? "
Some people take online sociability, even a step further – get married in the network. Such marriages are fraught with legalities hazy, and should be undertaken only by those who are fully aware of its ramifications.
In a marriage of the Internet, system hit your partner on a regular basis can be considered a spousal abuse. Climb every time your spouse wants to download can be interpreted as "irreconcilable differences." If your wife is in a chat room with another woman, could be grounds for divorce if he can demonstrate that you spoke of nothing but the fiber optic connections and utilities backup.
Then there are issues of divorce are not yet clearly defined. In case of divorce, does your spouse receives half of its disk space. If your spouse was awarded the websites they created together, do you have visiting rights? If the disks were promised in a prenuptial agreement, how easy it is for your husband to do a flip-flop on the floppies?
These and other irritants such questions should be investigated before entering into a marriage Internet. You would do well to consult a high-powered attorney, a person who can recite at least fifty-six thousand lakes per second.
In addition to changing some social customs, the PC has become a powerful object of fixation that some people see it almost like a family member.
An example is Bob (the is not your real Internet "handles" – to ensure your privacy, I'm using her real name). Bob went so far as to give his team a 3.5 GHz Pentium name – Chippy. And good reason. He said to do more tricks than Poochy. No, not your dog Poochy. Poochy is the Pentium 2. The name of your dog is Commodore-128, the name of an old computer that did almost nothing. By a strange coincidence, his dog knows of 128 places to hide when you hear an intruder.
When Chippy came down with a virus, Bob took him to "Lee's Emergency Room" (a computer store where many a guarantee has expired waiting for a technician). Being told to take two floppy disks and call back in the morning, Bob was left with Chippy all night, running anti-virus program called "Chicken Soup." The next day was Chippy doing so well that their taxes built program was able to show how you can become legally a Native American and claim your house as a casino.
Unfortunately, another friend, Patricia, did not fare so well. His team, Meggy, of blessed memory and storage chips can rest in peace, met with an untimely death, many improvements soon. One day Meggy was as healthy as a unit with six redundant backup (the computer equivalent of an ox), the day following his life was out of zapping a horrible surge. It was horrible. I do not wish it on a VCR.
Meggy lose after twelve months was particularly painful for Patricia, who had been waiting to nourish Meggy through obsolescence. In search of closure, Patricia sued the power company for sixty-four million dollars – one million per mega memory was private. After several years of legal wrangling, settled out of court a year's supply of environmentally friendly, natural pulp, paper, inkjet glossy. Manufactured in, I think, Kodak and Pepperidge Farm.
In the final analysis, the key to computer use is moderation and common sense. There are so attached to your computer that you emotionally distressed every time he AOL browser says "Goodbye." Stand Up for a break from time to time – if you look out the window and see the sun in the expansion of a supernova, which has been in keyboard way too long. No "chat" with anyone whose handle requires periodontal surgery is pronounced. And last but not least, as soon as support technology on hold, put your house lights on a timer that turns on and off them every hour, so thieves know you're home.
by Josh Greenberger of shopndrop.com
About the Author
Josh Greenberger: A computer consultant for over two decades, the author has developed software for such organizations as NASA’s Goddard Institute of Space Studies, AT&T, Charles Schwab, Bell Laboratories and Chase Manhattan Bank. Since 1984, the author’s literary works have appeared in such periodicals as The New York Post, The Daily News, The Village Voice, The Jewish Press, and others. His articles have ranged from humor to scientific to topical events. Visit his site: shopndrop.com
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